There is always Hope – Intentional Day 57

Banksy – There is always Hope  Screen-Shot-2016-01-08-at-09.17.13

There is always hope!   In all the darkness, the tragedy, the nonsensical tearing apart of our society, the buckets of tears, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!

As a mom, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, and as a member of this society, The United States of America, I want to ask, #NeverAgain

We must find a way to agree on how to enforce the laws we have on the books, encourage open dialogue on ways in which to curb or stop the availability of large capacity magazines, and high powered weapons of war and the ability to adapt guns so that they become weapons of mass destruction.

I am not asking that we repeal the 2nd Amendment. I’m all for the ability own and posses guns if done legally and responsibly, which most are.  I would like to see the age of being able to purchase any gun raised to 21, with thorough background checks and a waiting period.

I am also all for the right of innocent children to go to school and not be scared of what might happen.  I am also for the right of adults to gather at a concert without the fear of being massacred.

We as a society need to find a way to come together to build each other up, instead of tearing each other down.  We as a society need to stand with the students from #Parkland and others from across the country.  They are our future and they’ve had enough of being scared.  I can only hope and will do my part to stand strong with those students and others that support them, as they pave the way to hopefully a better future.  We need to listen to them, guide them and ensure that they are heard.  I know in my heart and soul that we all can agree #NeverAgain #EnoughisEnough

Most of you know I’m an educator.  I started off as a High School Math teacher in 1999.  I stayed in the classroom until 2013 or so, and left due to the inability to function correctly after I was assaulted by a student.  As I’ve said before, the assault was bad enough, but the response from those in charge, was reprehensible.  For awhile, I had lost hope, hope of ever being able to have a ‘real job’, hope of every being the person I was, hope of ever just being able to get through the day without an anxiety attack.  But, with time, I did get a  ‘real job’. I moved to the Central Coast and flourished emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  Now I’m back in the San Bernardino Mountains and still working in education.





Moving on… Sounds so Final!

Yikes, so here we are, the end of January 2018 and I have found a new path in my journey.  I will be moving on from SLOCOE, but is it really moving on, which to me sounds so final, or is it moving along, which has more of a continuous ring to it?

Since I began working at SLOCOE I have 61752_1411796780359_2996185_nfound myself even more reflective of who I am and who I want to be. I’ve gained so much knowledge both professionally and personally.

Personally, because I’ve had the pure pleasure of truly just being myself with my own needs and wants in a very tiny space. I’ve quit smoking in this time as well, most likely due to the fact that I am at peace internally.  I still have bouts of anxiety, but not as strong or as lasting. Walking along the harbor, just me and my D-dog, lost in the rhythm of the waves, or the steps or my own breathing.  It’s very soothing!

I am looking forward to going back to the mountains full time.  But I will miss the sounds of the ocean at night, particularly the seals barking!

Professionally, oh my, I’ve regained my confidence first and foremost.  Having had the chance to work with such great people, learn with great supervisors who appreciate and recognize your contributions to the organization and educational community, has been incredible. My own understanding of both assessment and accountability for Math Educations has supported my work for Access and Equity for all studemy-lifes-journey-27-728nts.  I truly believe that the collaborative work with the CA Math Community of Practice by CCSESSA, the CAASPP Institutes with SCOE/CDE and being appointed Lecturer for K-8 Math Methods last year at Cal Poly has brought me to this point along with coaching and mentoring by some phenomenal people!

So in this light, I do not see this as Moving On, but actually Moving Along my journey I was meant to take.

Thank you to all of those who have crossed my path along my journey! 

Grateful for… ME! Day 2 of #OneWord2018 – Intentional

Each day I want to intentionally recognize one thing for which I’m grateful.   I may not publicly write about them, but today I want to share how truly grateful I am for being me.  It has taken a long time to get here, this place of okay-ness and acceptance with who I am. I actually like who I am!!

I wish we all could find a way to be grateful for who we are earlier in life. However, we are all meant to take the journey we travel to become who we are, at the right time and the right place in our lives.  We need to find the ability to forgive ourselves along this journey called life. We have to be willing to look at failures as opportunities to learn and grow,  always moving forward.

I know where I’ve been, I know where I am, and I am looking forward to where I will be.

Are you grateful for who you are?  What will it take to do so?


meant to beImage Link

#OneWord2018 – Intentional

I chose the word intentional as my #OneWord2018 for multiple reasons.

  1. I am going to intentionally set aside time each week to read, both for my professional growth and pleasure.
  2. I am going to intentionally recognize someone each week who has made an impact on me, either professionally or personally.
  3. I am going to intentionally pursue opportunities to learn and become a better listener.
  4. I am going to intentionally recognize one thing each day that I’m grateful for.
  5. I am going to intentionally reach out to others who I would like to learn from.
  6. I am going to intentionally plan ways in which to better be reflective, both personally and professionally.
  7. I am going to intentionally enjoy each and every day, experience and opportunity that comes my way.
  8. I am going to intentionally strive to be my best self for myself and for others.

I will not be Dismissed!

I am not DISMISSABLE!! (yes, a new word!!) lol

Dismiss (verb) – treat as unworthy of serious consideration.

This word has been running through my thoughts since I woke up this morning. I didn’t quite know why. Why did I wake up fixated on a word? I usually wake up thinking about math! (Yes, I’m a nerd!!) What does it mean to me? How do I make sense of it? You see, it was just the word, nothing was attached to it. On my drive to work, it dawned on me…. I’ve been dismissed, again! And by someone I don’t even know!

There have been two times in my life that I have been dismissed. Once by the courts during my divorce, I was treated as unworthy of serious consideration for a long period. The second time I was dismissed, treated as unworthy of serious consideration was when I was sexually assaulted by a student, and subsequently harassed, tormented and threatened. The assault was bad enough, but being dismissed was even worse.

Why bring this up, what does this have to do with anything? It has to do with everything that is happening in our country right now. Personally, I’ve been dismissed, unworthy of serious consideration. Our President -Elect, not directly to me, but by actions and words has dismissed me.

I cannot speak about our immigrant and undocumented population, our Muslim population, our Black population, our Disabled population, our LGTBQ population, our medically needy population, and other survivors of sexual assault. However, if they are experiencing the same anxiousness and fears as I am, then they to, are being dismissed. This is in no way, to exclude those that are still recovering from the recession, as they may have felt dismissed in the past as well.

I made a promise to myself a while back, that I WILL NOT BE DISMISSED! I am worthy of serious consideration! I believe that those who are speaking out, either by peaceful protest or social media, are also saying that they will not be dismissed.

Our President Elect has made it very clear, during his campaign and with his appointments to his inner circle, that he is a misogynist, sexist, racist, xenophobic, ethnocentric bully, that is dismissive.

I do not claim to have answers, but I do know, that these past few months have shown that as a nation we have a long way to go, but it will be even further moving forward if we move backwards first.

For this reason, please do not be dismissive of others if they are trying to tell you something important to them. You are showing them that they are unworthy of serious consideration to you. t really doesn’t take but a moment to discuss these issues with someone, even if it is uncomfortable.